Side Effects of Patriarchy May Include PIV

Much has been written with feverish anticipation of the possibility of contraception for males. Indeed, it’s been pondered since at least the late 1960s. Recently, an international trial for such a drug has been called off because of the “serious side effects” experienced by 10 percent of the male participants. These “serious side effects” were depression, weight gain, increased libido, and acne. Quelle horreur!

Besides it being amusing that pregnant women frequently experience these exact symptoms, it also likely seems like small potatoes to women who have used hormonal contraception. Here’s a brief list of common side effects that women experience: bleeding in between periods, nausea, vomiting, acne, bloating, weight gain, sore breasts, headaches/migraines, and a decrease in sexual desire. Every one of my female friends who has taken hormonal birth control has experienced at least two of the above side effects. My tally is five.

Of course, these are just the more everyday effects. Just hear what can happen if something goes wrong with Mirena, a brand of IUD.

.

“Mirena may attach to or go through the uterine wall and cause other problems. Although uncommon, pregnancy while using Mirena can be life-threatening […]”

Exactly what the busy, on-the-go woman needs: uterine rupture and lethal pregnancy!

This is what women are risking for PIV. And some dudes found it too inconvenient to gain a little bit of weight or get some pimples. Boo fucking hoo. When first reading the article on the “failed” trial, I had this image in my mind of a man in a fancy restaurant sending back an expensive bottle of wine because it was ever so slightly imperfect. To think of all the time, money, and sanity women put into having the ‘privilege’ of being nauseous because of the pill rather than because they’re pregnant. . . going to a doctor, submitting to unrelated tests like pap smears, paying for all of that, then paying for the actual pill or what-have-you. All so that your boyfriend/husband/hookup can PIV to his heart’s content!

For a woman engaging in a little reproductive cost-benefit analysis, acquiring and then dealing with the myriad side effects of birth control is still better than pregnancy and all of its consequences (which includes death). For a man, the risks associated with pregnancy are nil, making his incentive for taking contraception considerably lower. The typical dudely bullshit argument in favor of male contraception always revolves around the imaginary woman who goes about sabotaging her own birth control so that she can ruin some poor guy’s life by scraping in all those sweet child support payments (ha – good luck!). Go to the comment section for articles on this topic, and you are sure to see several self-congratulatory men deriding the “feminist takeover” and blah blah blah.

Of course, there is a way for the involved parties to avoid pregnancy and contraceptive side effects. This is a method I call “Don’t put your dick in me”. However, the male always has the ability to refuse this method and just rape a woman, if he chooses. Also, a woman could cave in to the overwhelming internalization of the PIV mandate. Cuz patriarchy works like that.

Telling men that PIV is off the table is sure to elicit guffaws, even the same men who claim to be so concerned that a woman will “trap” them by gettin’ herself all pregnant. Men supposedly have to stick in it something, but when they do, they sure as hell aren’t going to deal with the consequences. Consequences are women’s work.

Droves of men deride any woman who dares to Just Say No to Penis. Again, they don’t want you to swindle them into fatherhood (you scheming harlots!), but if you aren’t down for some PIV, well, then you’re a frigid bitch. Damned if you fuck men, damned if you won’t. Another catch-22, the story of every woman’s life.

Related:

RadFemHub: “Womb Rights, Womb Wrongs” by Rainsinger

PBS: a brief history of early use of “the pill” and it’s more severe side effects

Another Mirena commercial, as well as an older Mirena ad that is less specific about the risks. (Also, the older TV spot oddly notes that ideal candidates should be in a “stable relationship”.)

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41 comments
  1. zeph said:

    “Men supposedly have to stick in it something, but when they do, they sure as hell aren’t going to deal with the consequences. Consequences are women’s work.”

    Men should confine themselves to sticking it into each other and leave women and children alone. If a woman selects a man to father her child, they should mate for a few months until pregnancy occurs. If the woman decides to have a second child she may well choose a different father (to avoid putting all her genetic eggs in one basket). Of course this means a lot of men would never be chosen to be fathers at all, MRA’s would become extinct within a few generations.
    Women would group together and self-resource, as opposed to the present system, where men group together to steal women’s resources, and then dish them out the crumbs of their own efforts, in exchange for menial and reproductive services.

    Humanity could become a healthily evolving species once again!

  2. Mary Sunshine said:

    The precondition for this:

    Humanity could become a healthily evolving species once again!

    is this:

    Males constitute less than 20% of the human population

    N’est ce pas?

    Kinda like, “maybe all the air molecules will move into the same corner of the room all at once”.

    😐

    If you’re serious, so am I.

  3. maggie said:

    A friend of mine is currently on the dating scene after leaving her abusive husband. She says they all want PIV on the first date and none of them bring condoms as they expect her to be on the Pill – she’s 41. One said that he was never asked that question re condoms before. WTF? Thankfully this is changing in the generation of my 18 year old daughter. ALL the young people that age use/carry condoms. (my friend declined his offer of ‘sex’).

    I’m steering well clear of men who want constant pronging. Friendship and shared values must come first. I just loved it as a teenager and the heavy petting. There was never any pressure to have PIV. Lovely carefree days.

  4. “Of course this means a lot of men would never be chosen to be fathers at all, MRA’s would become extinct within a few generations.”

    This comment made me LOL Zeph!!
    Lishra, I loved reading this post. Excellent!

  5. yttik said:

    Good post!

    Uhg, don’t forget the other side effects of the pill can be high blood pressure, blood clots, strokes, and heart attack. Women actually die from it.That’s why they don’t want you taking it if you smoke or are over 35. Pregnancy can also cause these things, so I’m not anti pill or patch, it’s just that they try to hide the side effects and portray them as safe.

    Love that poster. Yep, men would have whole different attitude if it was them suffering the consequences! No doubt causing an unwanted pregnancy would be viewed as an assault. There would probably be a penis tax instituted to help pay for any potential damages you would cause simply by possessing one. Abortion wouldn’t be called safe and effective, it would be perceived as something more like a root canal and you would have to pay emotional damages for causing the need for one.

  6. smash said:

    Pardon this personal narrative:

    I was on the pill for ~10 years. This summer I had pneumonia, and my PCP thought it was a pulmonary embolism. I had a CAT scan, and it turned out that I didn’t have a PE.. But,.after thinking that I was going to be admitted to the hospital for a blood clot in my lung so that HE could get *some* I got off BC ASAP because I realized that PIV is *not* worth the threat of death.

    No, indeed.

    Keep your Mirena to yourself, men. Ladies, tell your friends. BC is dangerous. It really is. Yes. Thanks to Lishra for the post.

  7. I have always been less than impressed with the PIV part of sex, and so have mostly refused to engage in it. I also can’t be bothered going on the pill or anything else, and I like my body to remain as it was intended by Mother Nature. As a result, I have never had an STD or any kind of complications. My lovely vagina is clean, clear and penis free, just as I like it to be.

    I guess that makes me a prude, but I’d much rather be a prude than riddled with cheesy PIV-induced disease. And I don’t care if that makes me sound like an obnoxious 7 year old because, frankly, 7 year old girls are more sane than teenage girls and women. 7 year old girls know what’s real, what’s good, and what’s true. They don’t have biology and hormones clouding their judgement. 7 year old girls think boys are GROSS and MEAN, and avoid them like the plague. 7 year old girls are ACE.

    I also resent the way society expects women to bear the responsibility of the consequences of PIV, both before and after acquiescing to what is almost always a male request.

    Why are even seemingly intelligent women (seemingly everywhere) not only catering to male desire, but also paying for it, with their money, time and their health?

    Has self-respect been so eroded?

    I would love to see a movement that involves women turning their backs on men, en masse, and simply refusing to have any kind of sex (or contact, even) until:

    porn is more respectful to women
    abortion is legal (and/or paid for/supported by the government)
    prostitution is illegal (with penalties for the buyers)
    there are harsher sentences and swifter trials for rapists and pedophiles, and
    birth control becomes either the responsibility of men (or free!)

    Not sure why women haven’t snapped yet. Or is it snap time now/soon? Please say it is!

  8. p.s. Great post. Thank you! (Sorry I forgot to write that 🙂

  9. p.p.s Or, has society, the media and pop culture now succeeded in destroying young girls minds, so that even 7 year olds want to be sexy, now? Perhaps I should move that number back to …… 5 …… or even 4 ….. 😦

  10. ybawife said:

    Zeph……absolutely…..agree with you on that fact…stick it in other menzzzzz..

  11. Maggie said:

    Great post…

    “Men supposedly have to stick in it something

    I heard that, nowadays, there are actually some men who want anal sex instead of PIV (though PIV is still popular) because of the influence of the pornography industry. I heard that some of these men claim that it’s now the “solution” for unwanted pregnancy. Oh my goodness, how sick that is… The dudes gotta stick it somewhere, don’t they? Yuck, how I hate men!

    I’m so glad I’ve been living as exclusively lesbian for more than a wee while now. The happiest womyn are probably the ones who manage to refuse men sticking anything anywhere in them. I think many more womyn should leave men. If they only really knew what men are like, how much men hate all womyn…

  12. sea said:

    Thanks, Lishra, for this:

    “…they don’t want you to swindle them into fatherhood (you scheming harlots!), but if you aren’t down for some PIV, well, then you’re a frigid bitch”

    – baaahahaha, that really made me laugh out loud!

    I never knew before becoming a Hub regular that PIV and sex weren’t the same thing. It was always taught in sex education that “sex is when a man’s penis enters a woman’s vagina” and that we would inevitably all experience it, and that it would hurt the first time, and that we may get a disease or get pregnant but it was still “what sex was” and we would “all experience it at some point”. It was as though we were being prepared for the inevitable. If only I’d been told that I could have sex without PIV, not that it “didn’t count” if there was no penetration.

    IMAGINE if sex education included a definition of sex that didn’t necessarily include PIV; where girls wouldn’t feel like a “frigid bitch” if they chose not to have PIV, if it wasn’t EXPECTED, if we didn’t feel like we had to have our hymens perforated in order to lose our virginity… if we didn’t feel like we had to be sexy, or sexually available, if we felt safe and heterosexual relationships could be egalatarian… one day it will happen. If we can survive until then.

  13. Sea, I like the way you think. Sex Ed for girls that focuses on their pleasure and comfort, the different ways to stimulate the clit, and the many different wonderful kinds of orgasm. And articles in magazines that teach women to expect and demand pleasure from their lovers, instead of teaching them how to give blowjobs *barf*

  14. A ginva said:

    The female pill is some shit poison. Not only it has terrible side effects, such as the listed above, and all sorts of cardiovasculary diseases (a friend of mine is a medic and diagnoses many women with such problems caused directly by the pill), and cancer – but is also a major source of pollution since pill-taking women pee their oestrogen hormones in the water and in environment, which has really noxious impacts.

    But most of all, I’d say the pill has become one of men’s new way to control women’s bodies and sexuality to the clock.

    I’m terrified to see how most female teenagers now systematically take the pill (whether they have PIV sex or not), as a ‘coming of age’ thing – as in, well, you’re 15 now, you’re a women, it’s time to take the pill!
    The thing is that contraception isn’t the sole motive of the pill. It’s become a means of controlling, medicalising and “normalising” menstrual cycles, of controlling women’s bodies (regulation of acne, body hair, boob size, etc).

    It’s another stage of patriarchal colonisation of the female body, of women’s physical expropriation. The pill disconnects women from their own body and sexual feelings because it’s all artificially induced, like plastic – it means women can’t anymore connect to their natural flow, to their own sexual power, can’t evaluate their health and moods or energies by looking at the state of their menstrual cycles (colour of blood, temperature during cycles, etc.), they can’t get to know how their body works and gain wisdom from it. Prevention of access to knowledge about our own bodies is one of patriarchy’s strategy no.1 of oppression.

    The pill treats menstruation as naturally deficient, needing external control and manipulation. It comes from the ideology that menstruation is dirty, impure, hateful, something to be ashamed of, and at best, a monthly nuisance.

    With the pill, pharmaceutical companies have managed to push the expropriation and invasion of our bodies to a further degree, under the guise of “sexual liberation”, whilst profiting from it economically. Women are not only expropriated by the pill but also have to pay for this expropriation, as well as for all its nasty side effects. All this so men can keep sticking their dicks in our vaginas, using us as fuck toilets.

  15. And yeah, great post!

    I’d say men should take full responsibility of where they put their seed. So if a guy lays his seed in somone’s vagina, it’s with full knowledge that pregnancy or other complications might ensue, for which he should be fully legally, financially, morally and materially accountable.

    If the idea of being responsible for pregnancy problems revolts him, well, all he need do is not to stick his dick into a women’s vagina.

    If his dick was protected by a condom and it accidentally snaps, he’s still responsible of where his semen goes – he chose to stick his penis in someone’s vagina.

    If it was his very own decision to stick his dick without protection (rape), the guy should provide 100% of all costs of this rape (any necessary material, financial and health care from the day 1 of pregnancy until the death of the foetus / child)

    If the PIV and its pregnancy consequences happened to be mutually desired by both parties, well, the guy should provide AT LEAST 50% of all care necessary from pregnancy day 1 to the last day of life of the fruition of this pregnancy.

  16. zeph said:

    Ybawife, yes, men are made for each other, they all have asses and they all love anal sex! 🙂

  17. developing said:

    The whole concept of the Pill bothers me – everyone, men and women, just accept that PIV is normal and to be embraced, and that women should take potentially dangerous drugs in order to facilitate it. Nobody ever expects men to do untold damage to their bodies – in fact, many women use the Pill because their husband/boyfriend/whatever doesn’t “like” condoms. Why should women always have to be so self-sacrificial, and for something that many of them say they don’t get much out of anyway?

    The Pill is only the first step though – now pharmaceutical companies are trying to work on a “female viagra” – apparently women’s libidos aren’t up to scratch (ie: they don’t want as much PIV as men do) so they need to be medicated – because of course it can’t be that they don’t want/like PIV, it must be that they’re inadequate in some way and need to be fixed

  18. julia said:

    I love you women!

    I was fortunate growing up that I knew the women in my family had a hormonal imbalance so i told my gyn I couldn’t take the Pill. Everything else was messy and difficult (diaphragm, IUD, the sponge, cervical cap). And why didn’t my ‘pro-feminist’ boyfriend suggest that he use condoms so I wouldn’t have to go through this? As much of a feminist as I thought I was in college, this never even crossed my mind.

    With HIV in the 80s, everyone used condoms and I often said the one good thing about this was it gave the birth control responsibility to men.

    So much about women’s oppression could be resolved if we got rid of the way we teach sex.
    I think you are brainwashed to accept PIV by the time you’re in elementary school. It took years of body therapy for me to realize I never liked it all that much, at least not compared to a guy going down on me, which I adore, and then I stopped doing it.

    Amazingly no man has ever said ‘no’, and I’ve had two serious relationships in the past decade. That said, my individual practice has much to do with my race and social class, it’s not a solution.

    Lots of women, including the stellar body therapist I went to years, defend PIV. I get either shock or anger from them when I confess that I don’t do it. Which only proves how real the brainwashing is.

  19. julia said:

    Men are taught that to be a man, they have to stick their dick into a woman. I don not think that PIV is in any way natural.
    You could say that all hetero-sex in patriarchy is taught. Or forced down your throat.

  20. dlb2 said:

    I’ve always considered contraception a joint responsibility…
    I have friends who’ve been stuck on the Pill for 20 years and many have really struggled with side effects, but their partners “don’t like” condoms, it reduces HIS pleasure, but they clearly doesn’t give a damn about the woman’s health and enjoyment.
    I simply wouldn’t do it – why should I endure unpleasantness and risk my health, so my partner can enjoy sex with zero responsibility?
    I said NO to the Pill – when I was in my 20’s doctors tacked all sorts of unnecessary and potentially harmful exams onto a consult for the Pill. I refused to be coerced into these exams just to get the Pill and I’d noticed a couple of friends ended up having gyn procedures after the Pill caused their cervix to bleed – neither was told of that side effect.

    I studied the Billings Method with a teacher for a couple of months and maintained contact with her for about a year – it took a while to confidently read my body…but before long the signs were very clear. My partner has used condoms very carefully on unsafe days – we’ve never had an unplanned pregnancy and I’ve been in control of my fertility and body.
    Doctors dismiss the Billings Method, they assume women won’t have the commitment or that the man calls the shots, “What will you do if he wants to have sex on an unsafe day?”…those sorts of Q’s…others were shocked and urged me to start taking the Pill.

    I think it was the best decision of my life (or one of them)….the Pill IMO, has led to doctors having more control over women and it was certainly used to take advantage for many years – routine pelvic and breast exams have nothing to do with the Pill, are unnecessary and potentially harmful in asymptomatic women and pap testing is an elective screening test. After decades the Pill is still on script and I’m sure that’s so doctors maintain this control…even if coercion is no longer used, that consult is still used to pressure women into cancer screening. (and sometimes unnecessary breast and pelvic exams – especially in the States)

    The Pill should be taken off script….men can get Viagra everywhere – they don’t have to see doctors and put up with unnecessary genital checks. A double standard exists and is evidence the medical profession is still quite paternalistic.
    A friend who works for a pharm. company told me the male Pill has been around for some time, but marketing showed few men would take it…it wouldn’t have been economically viable for the company.
    It’s incredible that after all this time birth control for men still basically comes down to condoms.
    It’s unfair to have the responsibility dumped onto women…

  21. HA! You know what I think? I think this constant bullshit never-finding-the-perfect-birth-control is just more manipulation. As LIshra so effectively points out, the side-effects of all their current bc is EXCESSIVELY MINOR. If men really wanted to prevent those evil sluts from trapping them into fatherhood, then they’d be all over any effective bc, especially when the side effects are so EXCESSIVELY MINOR.

    Look at what they are doing. They claim that any woman whose own bc failed is an evil slut who was deliberately trying to trap them into fatherhood. And they get to own that innocent act ONLY BECAUSE “gosh look how hard they’re trying to prevent those evil sluts from taking advantage of them”. Uhuh. What an amazing coincidence that they just cant ever find the absolute perfect birth control which has zero side effects. As if it is even possible for ANY DRUG TO HAVE ZERO SIDE EFFECTS. Hello.

    Who the fuck do they think they’re kidding??? Notice how, *until a PERFECT bc for males is viable*, then they don’t have to actually acknowledge that hey sometimes bc inadvertently fails (which is the excuse they WILL focus on when male bc does come on the market), they don’t have to question their need to stick their dicks into every hole they see, and they especially don’t have to take responsibility for the consequences of their own actions. Bonus, they get to blame women for being evil sluts while claiming innocent victimhood for themselves. Well hold on because all those excuses automatically become irrelevant ***after*** a viable bc for males comes on the market!

    Which is why they keep looking for “the perfect birth control”. As long as they hold out for the “perfect” bc control, they never have to relinquish their blame-the-slut routine.

    Sisters, they are never intending to actually develop any bc for men, it’s all just a sham. And they will continue this game until we call them on it.

  22. KatieS said:

    There is a perfect method of BC for men: vasectomy. If you are in a het couple and want to have children with your partner later on, just freeze some sperm. Then the man gets a vasectomy. This seems infinitely preferable to the kinds of risks women take by other bc methods. It’s just nonsense that women have to put up with all this stuff. They have to put up with the considerable dangers of pregnancy.

    Even better if you want children is to adopt, and have the male have a vasectomy.

  23. FCM said:

    Vasectomy might quell men’s concerns to a degree, assuming he has any, and might give him a legal or moral defense or cast doubt on a woman’s credibility in the event he knocks someone up. But as far as alleviating women’s anxiety and trauma bonding from piv, knowing that piv causes pregnancy and that vasectomies aren’t 100%…not so much. This requires trusting and believing the man, when he says he got one too. Which is generally a very poor idea.

  24. Seems like most het women, when asked, would continue using bc. Just because trusting the dood doesn’t seem like a good idea when the consequences of his lying about it are so extreme. However, there’s a difference between “the personal and the political” in this situation. As a class, it would be almost impossible for society to continue blaming the evil slut. It would finally seem reasonable for people to ask why isn’t bc handed out freely to *everyone* who wants it. The ability *for everyone* to have reproductive choices would finally seem reasonable. The religious fundamentalists would have to fine-tune their wacky justifications, which would make them appear even more batshitinsane.

    As it stands now, reproductive choices are only a “women’s issue” and as we all know, those are a special snowflake category of subhuman and who cares if the subhumans don’t get the same rights as the default human. Even tho vasectomy is technically a viable option, many people do consider that too extreme and would much prefer something that is reversible. So vasectomy doesn’t cause any pro-woman social/political consequences to occur within a society, but those pro-woman consequences would occur with a male bc pill.

  25. KatieS said:

    Yeah, FCM, I’m not advocating PIV for any woman, that’s for sure. I’m just pointing out that there is already a safe method that’s been around a very long time, relatively safe for women compared to the pill. But few men are willing to do even this much. They’d rather see women take all the risks.

  26. maggie said:

    Condom use must be considered essential. It protects against all sorts of harms and if combined with vasectomy then it is indeed the perfect birth control. It is men who are fertile 24/7 for most of their lives. They are the ones who should, can and must be the gatekeepers when it comes to birth control. This is the message that every child should hear at relationship and ‘sex’ classes.

  27. FCM said:

    omg. maggie, condoms AND a vasectomy! i just had the most bizarre response to your suggestion: it reminded me of being penetrated with a dildo.

    there is little unique about intercourse, is there, BESIDES the ways women are harmed by it. this is the totality or the majority of the “thrill” of it, even for women, i think. this is the “masochism” inherent in the act, for women: or rather, its our submission to mens sexual sadism and the complete normalization of sexual sadism (and the unique sadism of PIV) against women. i think it bothers women to hear that they are masochists if they like PIV…but thats probably because participation in normalized and invisiblized sadism and “being a masochist” are not the same thing.

  28. maggie said:

    Absolutely FCM, I agree, and if we women think like this then there’s no reason why men shouldn’t too; perhaps they do. That’s why condoms and a vasectomy as a method of contraception is never suggested, though it should be and it’s so blooming obvious; it brings to mind the sterility of having PIV constantly.

    I sometimes volunteer for an adviceline. One caller actually said that his girlfriend ‘tricked’ him into her getting pregnant. She told him she was on birth control. It never occured to him, in the 21st century, NEVER, that he should have had responsibility for contraception [as he presumeably wanted it constantly].

    The big lie proferred is that birth control freed women up to have sex and enjoy it, just like the menz. This is simply not the case, as you so clearly present in this article. It’s not a matter of morals, or religious morals [big difference] or judgementalism either, it’s a simple matter of fact.

    To end on a positive note, I listened to a Newsnight [bbc2, 10.30am] programme in which Nadine Dorries’ suggestion that counselling should not be the preserve of those institutions who provide abortions was debated. There was a Tory and a Labour MP discussing it. The Labour MP suggested that instead of trying to reduce the number of abortions the focus should be on preventing pregnancy including – abstinence!!!!! – I nearly fell off my chair and I clapped loudly. So pleased she brought that suggestion to the table on national tv.

  29. God, which MP was it Maggie? Can I listen to it?

  30. FCM said:

    I hate the word abstinence though, because its not accurate. Nobody is saying (well radfems aren’t) that people should abstain from sex. We are saying that piv is not sex. Because its not, in any sense that anyone means when they say it: its not relaxing, its not a stress reliever, it doesn’t promote healthy bonding, and its not even very effective at inducing orgasms.

  31. KatieS said:

    Unfortunately the politicians (heavily) promoting abstinence in the United States have been the religious right-wing folks. Here, it’s been seen as a way to limit sexual relationships to marriage only and to withhold birth control from unmarried women. This began in earnest during the Bush administration, but now they have been moving to withhold birth control altogether. I’m not saying that’s true in other countries, but certainly in the U.S., it’s the case.

  32. FCM said:

    Yes katie, exactly. They mean that piv is sex, and they mean to limit or legitimize it in certain contexts which promote their own brand of male supremecy. It’s nothing to do with reducing the female specific harms of the penis, or improving women’s (and childrens, and girl childrens) lives, in any way.

  33. KatieS said:

    Yes, FCM, PIV sexual relationships. An important distinction. Other sexual relationships are not really “sex” to them since they don’t lend themselves to male supremacy in the way PIV does.

  34. maggie said:

    I agree that abstinence has a certain right wing moral righteousness to it, even in the UK, but I took it slightly out of context and her whole speech needs to be listened to, and it’s worth watching from the start though the debate is about 7 minutes in:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0148sls/Newsnight_30_08_2011/

    But I would argue that abstinence does mean not having PIV sex, did not Sheila Jeffreys write about this in The Spinster and her Enemies?

    Right wingers will always abide by the ideology that sex belongs to marriage, especially in societies that subscribe to fundamentalist religions and are deeply patriarchial.

    It’s untenable of course, so the object of the game is to keep blaming women for all the ills regarding sex and babies (can’t change nature they will cry!). However it does need to be repeated; birth control being viewed as the sole preserve of women is a deeply flawed concept, and leads to women specific harms.

  35. yes, if it had been a right wing politician talking about abstinence I would have just rolled by eyes. But when a left wing female politician talks like that it starts to become interesting.

  36. The Masked Lily said:

    gah yet again I’m so grateful to have been born a lesbian 😦 but thinking of my dearest friends and their boyfriends, and female relatives, and .. well all het women, it makes me want to scream.

    And that whole thing about the study being called off because men experienced extremely minor side effects? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry or both

  37. Liz said:

    I’m late, but i’m posting anyway.

    I was on 3 different forms of American birth control.

    1st brand: Cystic acne and bizarre cramping
    2nd brand: 30 day long menstrual period
    3rd brand: Severe depression and splitting headaches

    Then i thought i was being crafty when i decided to try some Indian birth control.

    That left me unable to hold my bladder. In short, i was pissing all over myself. Not to mention the cramping and splitting headaches.

    And all that trouble for a man who could have cared less about me ultimately. He’d fuck me until I had UTI’s. I developed a months-long case of bacterial vaginosis and he’d still insist on fucking me, all while making jokes about the smell.

    I broke up with him and haven’t had sex with a man since, will never have sex with a man again. I’ve bought a gun to ensure this.

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